Urgent Care is Not

Why do they call the urgent care center "urgent care"? It really is not. Thursday night my right eye started swelling in up and hurting. No big deal, it has happened before. So I took a Zyrtek and figured all would be well by morning.

I thought wrong. I woke up Friday morning with an even bigger right eye. No way I was getting my contacts in. I stick it out though and head off to work with my glasses on. By 2:00pm I had enough, tell the boss I am leaving, and head out to the so called urgent care by my house.

Two friggin' hours later they finally call me back. These people are real Einsteins too. I am wearing my riding boots, my heavy winter riding jacket, and holding my magnetic tank bag when they put me on the scale. Naturally I weigh quite a bit with all that stuff and it doesn't even phase them. There is now an official medical record out there that says a weigh 200 pounds.

This is when I decided to have some fun. They asked my height, I told them four feet twelve inches. When the nitwit took my pulse I hyperventilated. When the dork did my blood presuure, I held my breath. These were just the little things though. The icing on the cake was the eye test.

I behaved at first but then got annoyed. The next line she asked me to read I said, "i-c-a-n-t-s-e-e-s-h-i-t". Several other patients start laughing. The nitwit nurse, no clue. That idiot completely missed it.

The doc was not that impressive either. Her diagnosis is that she does not know why my eye is swollen shut and hurts. Her big plan... medical carpet bombing. Keep taking the allergy medication Zyrtek because it might help. Then she gives me a oral antibiotic and a topical eye goop antibiotic, and tells me to do warm compresses. The two pills I get to take twice a day. The annoying and blinding eye goop a lovely four times a day.

The good news is as of today it is looking better so medical carpet bombing is working.