Cowboy Rules for:
Arizona, Texas, Oklahoma, Colorado, New Mexico, Nevada,Wyoming, Montana, Utah, Idaho, Oregon and the rest of the Wild West are as follows:
1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle.. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10 & I-40 & I-80 go east and west, I-17 & I-15 & I-5 goes north and south. Pick one and go.
5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept..
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves are comin' in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.
11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah...We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Giants, the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.
16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity- thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
I am done!!
Grade Report: REL/133
Grade Summary (Week 1-Week 5) | | |
| Total Percentage: | 99% | |
| Your Total Score: | 99 | |
| Total Possible Score: | 100 | |
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
PAY ATTENTION!
This line in the article is the whole reason I am posting this article.
Contrary to popular belief, lane-splitting, which is legal, is not a leading cause of crashes involving motorcycles, he said. Drivers failing to spot motorcycles is,
http://www.pressdemocrat.com/article/20090809/ARTICLES/908099978/1350?Title=County-bucks-trend-in-motorcycle-fatalities
County bucks trend in motorcycle fatalities
By PAUL PAYNE
THE PRESS DEMOCRAT
Published: Sunday, August 9, 2009 at 5:53 p.m.
Last Modified: Sunday, August 9, 2009 at 5:53 p.m.
The number of deaths involving motorcyclists in Sonoma County is on the decline for the second straight year, but the number of crashes is holding steady.
So far this year only one person has died on the county’s more than 2,300 miles of roadway, compared to six last year and 14 in 2007.
However, non-fatal wrecks are on track to match a two-year average of about 120 crashes a year, according to data from the California Highway Patrol office in Rohnert Park, which covers Highway 101 and the unincorporated areas.
Because motorcycles continue to pile up at the same rate, it could mean the lower death toll is a statistical anomaly, said CHP Capt. Kelly Young, commander of the Rohnert Park office.
“Maybe we’re just dodging the bullet,” Young said. “Luck is on our side this year.”
Statewide, fatal motorcycle crashes climbed 8.1 percent in 2008 to 560. The deadly trend goes back 11 years, starting with 204 fatalities in 1998, according to the state Office of Traffic Safety.
Over the same period, motorcycle registration has also increased, but at a slower rate, Department of Motor Vehicle records show.
Statewide motorcycle registration rose to 772,000 in 2007, up from 464,000 in 2000.
Sonoma County, which is a magnet for sport-touring, had nearly 16,000 registered bikes in 2007, a 4.5 percent increase over the previous year.
This year’s first and only fatal crash happened in May in downtown Sebastopol, when a 32-year-old Santa Rosa man lost control of his bike and smashed head-first into a pole.
Other deadly crashes have occurred in the region. In Marin County, just outside Petaluma, a 59-year-old Santa Rosa man was killed Wednesday when an oncoming van drifted into his lane.
The years 2006 and 2007 had 12 and 14 fatals, respectively, but the county average going back to 2000 is five or six motorcycle deaths a year, according to the state traffic safety office.
With more motorcycles on the road, the CHP has launched several safety campaigns aimed at older riders returning to motorcycles and younger, first-time riders, Young said.
He said the programs, which included placing safety posters at motorcycle dealerships, may have raised some awareness of the dangers. But he was reluctant to credit them for the reduced number of deaths.
Most crashes occur from speeding, he said.
Contrary to popular belief, lane-splitting, which is legal, is not a leading cause of crashes involving motorcycles, he said. Drivers failing to spot motorcycles is, he said.
“When you think somebody sees you, they don’t,” said Young, a veteran motorcycle officer. “You’ve got to ride like you’re invisible.”
You can reach Staff Writer Paul Payne at 762-7297 or paul.payne@pressdemocrat.com.
All rights reserved. This copyrighted material may not be re-published without permission. Links are encouraged.
Contrary to popular belief, lane-splitting, which is legal, is not a leading cause of crashes involving motorcycles, he said. Drivers failing to spot motorcycles is,
http://www.pressdemocrat.com/article/20090809/ARTICLES/908099978/1350?Title=County-bucks-trend-in-motorcycle-fatalities
County bucks trend in motorcycle fatalities
By PAUL PAYNE
THE PRESS DEMOCRAT
Published: Sunday, August 9, 2009 at 5:53 p.m.
Last Modified: Sunday, August 9, 2009 at 5:53 p.m.
The number of deaths involving motorcyclists in Sonoma County is on the decline for the second straight year, but the number of crashes is holding steady.
So far this year only one person has died on the county’s more than 2,300 miles of roadway, compared to six last year and 14 in 2007.
However, non-fatal wrecks are on track to match a two-year average of about 120 crashes a year, according to data from the California Highway Patrol office in Rohnert Park, which covers Highway 101 and the unincorporated areas.
Because motorcycles continue to pile up at the same rate, it could mean the lower death toll is a statistical anomaly, said CHP Capt. Kelly Young, commander of the Rohnert Park office.
“Maybe we’re just dodging the bullet,” Young said. “Luck is on our side this year.”
Statewide, fatal motorcycle crashes climbed 8.1 percent in 2008 to 560. The deadly trend goes back 11 years, starting with 204 fatalities in 1998, according to the state Office of Traffic Safety.
Over the same period, motorcycle registration has also increased, but at a slower rate, Department of Motor Vehicle records show.
Statewide motorcycle registration rose to 772,000 in 2007, up from 464,000 in 2000.
Sonoma County, which is a magnet for sport-touring, had nearly 16,000 registered bikes in 2007, a 4.5 percent increase over the previous year.
This year’s first and only fatal crash happened in May in downtown Sebastopol, when a 32-year-old Santa Rosa man lost control of his bike and smashed head-first into a pole.
Other deadly crashes have occurred in the region. In Marin County, just outside Petaluma, a 59-year-old Santa Rosa man was killed Wednesday when an oncoming van drifted into his lane.
The years 2006 and 2007 had 12 and 14 fatals, respectively, but the county average going back to 2000 is five or six motorcycle deaths a year, according to the state traffic safety office.
With more motorcycles on the road, the CHP has launched several safety campaigns aimed at older riders returning to motorcycles and younger, first-time riders, Young said.
He said the programs, which included placing safety posters at motorcycle dealerships, may have raised some awareness of the dangers. But he was reluctant to credit them for the reduced number of deaths.
Most crashes occur from speeding, he said.
Contrary to popular belief, lane-splitting, which is legal, is not a leading cause of crashes involving motorcycles, he said. Drivers failing to spot motorcycles is, he said.
“When you think somebody sees you, they don’t,” said Young, a veteran motorcycle officer. “You’ve got to ride like you’re invisible.”
You can reach Staff Writer Paul Payne at 762-7297 or paul.payne@pressdemocrat.com.
All rights reserved. This copyrighted material may not be re-published without permission. Links are encouraged.
Friday, July 03, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Guitarzan
He's free as the breeze
He's always at ease
He lives in the jungle and hangs by his knees
As he swings through the trees
With a trapeze in his B.V.D.s
He's got a union card and he's practicing hard
To play, the guitar, gonna be a big star
Yeah, he's gonna go far
And carry moonbeams home in a jar
He ordered Chets guitar course C.O.D.
Makes A and E and hes working on B
Big C&W and R&B and even the chimpanzees agree
That someday soon hell be a celebrity
Get it, get it, get it.
Gitarzan, he's a gitar man
He's all you can stand
Give him a hand, gitarzan
He's got a girl named Jane
With no last name
Kinda homely and plain
But he loves her just the same
Cause she kindles the flame
And it drives him insane
When he hears her say
She really does her thing
It's her claim to fame
Come on sing one Jane
Baby, baby, oh baby
Baby, oh baby
They've got a pet monkey who likes
To get drunk and sing boogie woogie
And it sounds real funky
Come on your turn boy
(Ray Stevens Guitarzan Lyrics)
He's always at ease
He lives in the jungle and hangs by his knees
As he swings through the trees
With a trapeze in his B.V.D.s
He's got a union card and he's practicing hard
To play, the guitar, gonna be a big star
Yeah, he's gonna go far
And carry moonbeams home in a jar
He ordered Chets guitar course C.O.D.
Makes A and E and hes working on B
Big C&W and R&B and even the chimpanzees agree
That someday soon hell be a celebrity
Get it, get it, get it.
Gitarzan, he's a gitar man
He's all you can stand
Give him a hand, gitarzan
He's got a girl named Jane
With no last name
Kinda homely and plain
But he loves her just the same
Cause she kindles the flame
And it drives him insane
When he hears her say
She really does her thing
It's her claim to fame
Come on sing one Jane
Baby, baby, oh baby
Baby, oh baby
They've got a pet monkey who likes
To get drunk and sing boogie woogie
And it sounds real funky
Come on your turn boy
(Ray Stevens Guitarzan Lyrics)
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Squid vs Hooligan
(Shamelessly stolen from Toneman on NBSR)
A squid will try to steal your girlfriend and fail. A Hooligan will succeed, even though he didn't try.
A squid will spend all of his money on farkles, not gear because he (wrongly) thinks he's not going down. A Hooligan will forego the farkles in favor of gear because he knows he's going down.
If a squid is faster than you, he'll zoom right by. If a Hooligan is faster than you, he'll stay behind you all day long and then blow past you on the last 5 minutes of the ride. Kinda like a pool hustler.
Ya'll got any????
Thursday, May 28, 2009
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