Sleep

I can not sleep. I would like to be asleep, but I am awake. I am not happy. It is too warm. I can not get comfortable. Ever notice how a cat who is perfectly content to sleep and only wake up for food somehow gets the inability to sleep the same time you do? Worse yet, he demands your attention.

Good thing I do not have to go to work tomorrow. I would be one tired, cranky, bitch to deal with and that would be bad. Can not be cranky when doing tech support in a highly customer service focused group. Can not be cranky when you are the trainer and example for the newbies. Can not be cranky when you are the one so many people come to with their questions.

Responsibility is cool. Sometimes it can wear on you though. Some days I do not want to be the one who smiles and answers all questions. I want to be the cranky bitch I was meant to be. My natural charming self, and tell them all to fuck off.

Most days I am proud of it all though and do my best. My supervisors are happy and apparently I am discussed in management circles favorably. Sometimes with much surprise. Many managers outside my department have no idea I do the things I do until it comes up in some meeting. They are all amazed at the biker chick. Amazing how riding a motorcycle makes my IQ drop by 50 points to people. Even more amazing that when I do something they all think it's so surprising. My supervisor just smiles and calls me her hidden gem. I have even heard myself referred to as a secret weapon.

Maybe one day this will all pay off. Seems like most days it is just more work without more pay. I need to figure out what I want to do. Then learn the stuff you need to know to do it. So I never have to speak to another end user again.

The funniest thing was told to me the other day by Tucker. For those who don't know Tucker is the kid we rent one of our rooms to. He had mentioned to some people that we got married. They asked him if anything has changed. He told them that he didn't think we noticed. Lots of people kept telling me how everything would change after we got married. We've been legally married for some 70 or so days now. I still waiting for this "change" I've been told about. I don't see it happening though. We have been married for almost five years. This summer was just a party and paper signing.

I am reading a book by George Carlin called "Brain Droppings". It is damn good. I am prejudiced though. I love everything he has done. He is funny as hell. One of the last great classic comedians. I think I will read "Napalm and Silly Putty" next. Depends on how the paycheck looks when I am done paying bills. Right now, it looks like I will have to wait until next payday to buy it.

I got suckered into reading the first Harry Potter book. Now I am screwed and must read the rest of them. If you have book two and wouldn't mind loaning it to me for a week I would be very grateful. I am trying to think less and read more again. I miss reading. Lately I have been totally hooked on the History Channel, Discovery Times Channel, and the other History Channel. Lot's of the good ancient history stuff I like. Mark likes to watch all the military stuff, Wings channel, and post industrial revolution. I prefer pre-industrial revolution. Heck, I don't even like to get within a couple 100 years of the industrial revolution. It bores the hell out of me. Give me a caveman or an Egyptian, or Peruvian mummy any day. Show me the pyramids of the Mayans and Aztecs. Much more interesting.

I am babbling. It is because I am tired. If you have read this far I am impressed.

I am confused by what is happening in the area's hit by Katrina. When the tsunami hit, the world trade centers fell, big earthquake buries a city, you see people coming together to help each other. There is always a few assholes looting and behaving poorly but overall everyone helps each other. What the hell happened in New Orleans? NOBODY came together. It was a big cluster fuck from the get go. Once again I have to ask, what the hell is wrong with people? These people reverted to caveman instincts so quickly it was amazing. I understand the whole survival thing but we are supposed to be intelligent enough to realize we survive better together than we do alone. Looting for food, water, toothbrush, and clean undies I understand and encourage in their situation. Stealing a TV and 100 pairs of jeans is just plain stupid and certainly not survival.

I am even more confused by the government. For a week I watched the news and heard them say total devastation multiple times. To me that says pack your bags kids were gettin' the hell out of here. People who had the means to get out and didn't? What the hell!?

Where was the government to get out all those who did not have the means to get out? Didn't the government see the same weather forecast I did? It was on every major news network. They knew they had a HUGE poor population that would not be able to get out without help. It sucks, there are generations there that have been brought up in a welfare state and know they don't have to do shit cause the government welfare check will keep coming. They are poor and will remain poor. The government created this and so it is responsible for making sure they are out of harms way in an event such as this.

I don't know, it just all seems so stupid to me. I don't know jack shit about hurricanes and even I knew New Orleans was gonna flood and the Gulf Coast was gonna be destroyed. If I figured it out from some news blips on the boob tube then what was the major malfunction of the government that they couldn't figure it out?

I am gonna go try an sleep again.