What did I learn today? As I sit here back on the ice machine for the first time in two weeks I ponder the lessons learned.

1) Every part of my being aches to ride but the knee part of my being is not ready yet. :o(

2) The encouragment of all the thumbs up I got from other riders as they passed me with my crutch mounted on my bike and my leg dangling off the side while I was riding home felt great. Finally, a little support. I am sick of people telling me what I can't do.

3) Just because I am strong enough to walk a little and get my bike on and off the side stand does not mean I am strong enough to ride.

4) Today's adventure probably was not the brightest thing I have done. I had to try though. I had to find out if I could do it. So I tried and I succeeded. It felt good.

5) There is a price for everything. Luckily, todays price is a little swelling and discomfort. The potential for real damage and recovery set back was there though.

6) Patience, I must learn patience. This will end...

So I had a little bit of peace and joy today. It was good for me and the cost is worth it. I just wish the feelling would last. Now I am back to being angry and depressed. It just seems to be engulfing me. Sometimes it is all I can do to keep myself from crying. I hate this and I want it to be over. Only two weeks into rehab and I am already resenting it. I have to force myself to do the exercises. Waking up in the morning and going to rehab is so hard. I don't want to do this anymore.

I want to be better.

I want to ride.

I want to walk.

I want to be normal.