Everything is ordered and on schedule for Mark's birthday party this Sunday. I am looking forward to seeing people. I have been trapped in the house to long and it is driving me stir crazy. Can you say "cabin fever"? Yes, I thought you could.

Had a creepy moment yesterday. I was laying around, like I do anything else anymore, and my knee turned into a little heater. You could feel the heat coming off of it. This creeped me out a little because it is a sign of infection. Worst case kind of thing they plant me in the hospital for two or three days and main line antibiotics.

Anyway, I called the doc and they had me come in. On my way over I stopped for x-rays that I brought with me to the docs. Overall he is happy with the knee. Flexibility is good and the incision is healing nicely. He prescribed me a huge dose of antibiotics, 500mg, that I must take four times a day for two weeks. They are some impressive horse pills. Thank goodness they are capsules or they would be hell to swallow.

I am going to scan and post up the x-rays after my next doc visit. They are the neatest thing. It is quite bizarre to stare at these x-rays, see the screws and the graft, and know that all that stuff is in me!

Pain wise yesterday was good. I did not take any pain killers at all. Not bad considering where I was just a few days ago.

Last night I had a bad moment. I hadn't realized how much this has come to annoy me emotionally. I was getting all wrapped, braced, and plugged into the ice machine for the night and I lost it. The fact that I just couldn't get up and go to the bathrooom, or fill my water bottle, or carry my own dinner, or any damn thing had reached a frustration high. The sheer effort involved in preparing to sleep became the straw that broke the camels back. Out of the blue I start bawling like a little girl. It totally snuck up on me and I was not prepared for it. Poor Mark, he is tired and has only been back from Chicago a few hours. Now he is stuck in a position where there is nothing he can do, nothing he can say, and nothing he does do or say is going to be the right thing. That poor man was damned no matter what. He took it like a champ though. I am very lucky to have him.

Managed six hours straight of sleep though. I have come to the conclusion that there is nothing more glorious than being unconcious for multiple consecutive hours.

Mom went home today. Physically and with Mark home I am ready for her to go. But I really was not ready for her to go. It was wonderful having her here taking care of me. She really took care of Mark too. It made everything so much easier having her here. I got a good Mom.

Today has been a so so day. Periodically my knee, or shin, or thigh will start to throb like hell. It does that for about two to five minutes and is extremely painful. At one point today it started a constant and growing ache and I had to break down and take some pain killers. I am here to tell you kids, healing sucks.

After Mom left I took my first unattended shower :o). I decided I stunk and couldn't stand it anymore. Since my injury I have not taken a shower without someone home just in case I fall or something. It is a bit annoying to know people are checking on you when you are doing something so basic and normal. It feels kind of like being imprisoned in a way. I was just going to do it. Then the visions of Mark calling, me not answering, then Mark calling me neighbor, then finding myself naked with my neighbor and her two kids looking at me in the shower started dancing in my head. So I called Mark and told him I was taking a shower and there was nothing he could do to stop me. He laughed, asked me to be careful, and told me to call him when I was done.

I am looking forward to Monday. It will be sooooooooo wonderful to go back to work. It will make me feel human again. I will feel less helpless and less of a burden. I never thought sitting in cubicle would sound like heaven to me, but it does.

I am also a little scared of Monday. It will be the first day of rehab. If you know what they do to you for this please let me know. It would be less creepy if I knew what to expect.