Sunday, April 11, 2004

HAPPY EASTER!!

New 2004 Politically Correct Descriptions for a Woman:

1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK -
She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER -
She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

3. She is not EASY -
She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

4. She is not DUMB -
She is a DETOUR OF F THE INFORMATION
SUPERHIGHWAY.

5. She has not BEEN AROUND -
She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

6. She is not an AIRHEAD -
She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY -
She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

9. She does not NAG YOU -
She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

10 She is not a SLUT -
She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

11. She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS -
She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR

12 . She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE -
She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.


New 2004 Politically Correct Descriptions for a Man:

1. He does not have a BEER GUT -
He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

2. He is not a BAD DANCER -
He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME -
He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

4. He is not BALDING -
; He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER -
He prefers GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS.

6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK -
He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS -
He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG -
He has SWINE EMPATHY.

9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT -
He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

10. He is not HORNY -
He is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

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